You're What?
by ShadesofStrange
Summary: In which Ulquiorra is Asexual and it's no surprise?


Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach, honestly. I do not make money out of it. It is purely just for fun.

Now on with the story..

"Hi" Ichigo said.

"Trash"

"Oh, we're back to that again i see" Ichigo said, brushing off the insult.

They had been going out for a while, everything was going perfect, at least that's what Ichigo thought. Then Ulquiorra started avoiding him after Ichigo asked if he could move in with him.

*FLASHBACK*

"Ulquiorra, move in with me?" Ichigo asked with a smile.

"Why?"

Ichigo's face fell. "you honestly don't expect me to answer that, Ulqui?"

"Don't call me that"

" What's wrong?" Ichigo asked. "Are you breaking up with me, is that it?' he asked again.

"Look Ichigo, I just need some time alone okay?" Ulquiorra said. He walked away before Ichigo could even try to figure out what was going on.

*END OF FLASHBACK*

Here they were again. Ichigo standing on Ulquiorra's doorstep. They stood there just staring at each other, with Ulquiorra thinking if he concentrated hard enough he'd be able to fuse himself in the door. That's how awkward he was feeling.

"What are you doing here?"

"What do you think? To see you and to talk obviously" Ichigo rolled his eyes.

"About what?" Ulquiorra asked.

"About us"

"What about us?"

"Oh, come on don't play dumb with me Ulqui, i know you're not"

"I thought i told you not to call me that!" Ulquiorra snapped. His calm facade almost faltering. He loved it when Ichigo called him that.. not that he would ever admit it to his face.

"Bite me"

"Shut up" Ulquiorra said, slightly blushing , mumbling something like 'he'a so annoying' under his breath.

Ichigo held back a chuckle.

"Can i come in?"

Ulquiorra hesitated for a while but stepped aside, letting go of the door handle to let Ichigo in.

"Thanks" he said, stepping in. "I guess I'll just get straight to the point" Ichigo said sitting down.

Ulquiorra remained standing. "Why have you been avoiding me?" "I haven't been avoiding-

"Oh don't give me that Ulquiorra!" he snapped. Ulquiorra almost flintched at the tone. Ichigo composed himself before saying in a softer tone "talk to me. Whatever it is we can work it out. I know we can" Ichigo said almost pleadingly.

"Not this" Ulquiorra said under his breath.

"What was that?"

"Look Ichi-"

"I love it when you call me that," Ichigo almost purred.

"I am trying to be serious, Ichigo" Ulquiorra could feel his resolve weakening.

"So am I" Ulquiorra, I lo-

"Don't say it"

"Why not? Don't you feel the same way?" Ichigo asked, hurt evident in his voice.

"No, that's not it. It's because..

"Because what?"

"Because i love you, okay" Ulquiorra almost yelled before realizing what he just confessed.

"I-"

"You love me?" Ichigo asked hopefully, standing up so he could be face to face with Uquiorra.

"Yes" Ulquiorra whispered looking away.

Ichigo grinned then frowned. "I don't see what the problem is"

"I am Asexual" Ulquiorra said feeling helpless.

"What?"

"It means i can't get sexually attracted to anyone"

"I know what it means" Ichigo said, offended.

"So?"

"So what?" Ichigo asked.

"You don't hate me?"

"Why would i hate you?"

"I don't know. I just thou-

"I don't care what you are" Ichigo said before scratching his head. besides, i kinda suspected it. He grinned seemingly proud of himself.

"What? how?" Ulquiorra asked confused.

"Well, the way you avoided talkind about sex everytime i came close to even suggesting it. Also, Rukia is Asexual too." he smiled reassurringly.

"Really?" Ulquiorra asked surprised.

"Yeah"

"And you still chose to stay with me?" he asked in disbelief. "You're pathetic"

"yeah, or just hopelessly in love. ichigo retorted

"I'm not what you need. You can have any girl you want. I'll just hurt you," Ulquiorra tried.

"You're hurting me right now. I choose you." he added before Ulquiorra could come up with another excuse why they couldn't be together.

"Ichi- he tried but got interrupted.

"I wanna be with you." Ichigo said, taking Ulquiorra's hand in his.

"If i say no? Ulquiorra asked shyly.

"I will tie you to my bed until you say yes." Ichigo smirked.

"You wouldn't- Ulquiorra stared at him, eyes wide.

Ichigo just chuckled before becoming serious again "move in with me"

"But- Ulquiorra tried to protest but ichigo shut him up with a soft kiss.

"Are you sure?" Ulquiorra asked dazed.

"Positive. I've never been more sure of anything in my whole life Ulqui. This feels right.

"There's no changing your mind is there?" Ulquiorra asked defeated.

"Nope" Ichigo grinned like he'd just won the Jackpot

"I guess i have no choice but to say yes." he sighed.

"So you'll move in with me?"

"I guess"

"Yes!" Ichigo did a fist pump, making Ulquiorra shake his head amused by his boyfriend's antics.

Ichigo was so happy that Ulquiorra agreed to move in with him and continue their relationship while Ulquiorra was thinking of how he got stuck with such a basket case (his basket case)

Ulquiorra had been so scared that Ichigo wouldn't want to be with him if he found about what he was, so he tried pushing him away so it would hurt less, but the man had been so persistent. Ulquiorra was almost annoyed by his stubbornness, but he wouldn't be his Ichigo if he wasn't. To be honest, he wouldn't have him any other way. Ichigo made him feel like he was the luckiest man alive.

They didn't know that they were both thinking the same thing when they stood there looking into each other's eyes with Ichigo wrapping his arms around Ulquorra's waist.

"I love you, Ulquiorra Schiffer."

"I love you too, Ichigo Kurosaki." Ulquiorra smiled before standing on tiptoes to kiss Ichigo on the lips

The End

A/N: There! That's my sorry attempt at fanfiction. Cheesy? badly written i assume hehe oh well..

Please Review?


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